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Saturday, February 8, 2014

Adventures in adoption - In the Beginning....

In the Beginning....

Background info - Hubby and I met back in May of 1997. I was a senior in high school, he just got out of the Marine Corps. We dated a while and then got engaged in September of 97 (I know, that's quick).  Then we married October 25, 1997 (I'm not really patient).  I always wanted a large family.  While dating I found out Hubby couldn't have kids,  so we talked about adopting. Worked for me. I didn't care of the kids came from my belly or someone else's.  We both wanted lots of kids. For some reason the magic number was 7. We agreed that we needed 7 kids.

Then in November 1997 I got sick. The doc asked if there was any way I could be pregnant. I told him that Hubby can't have kids.  Apparently Doc had heard this story before, because he ran a pregnancy test. Surprise!   Not only do I have a uti, I also have a baby. Hmm. I suppose he can have kids. 9 months later we have a boy.

When Baby Boy was only 18 months old,  Hubby needed a surgery that would cause him to never have more babies. We were OK with that. New Doc said 'at least you have your son. '
18 months later,  Surprise!  It's a girly girl. Hmm. I guess he had another crazy doc.

Long story short (and personal info left out) 2 years later we had another girl. Surprise!  Due to moderate complications with baby 1, minor complications with baby 2, and (just less than major) complications with baby 3, my doc suggested getting my tubes tied.  I didn't pray about it (mistake 1), I didn't talk to hubby (mistake 2), I just trusted the doc and did it.

Fast forward to 2006.  We met several children who were 'in thesystem.'   I never stopped wanting more kids.  Hubby was the same way.  We love our 3, but always felt called to have a large family.
2012 - I hear God once again tell me that adopting is what we need to do.  I did some research and found a few agencies and got some information. I was confused, but thought that cps was the way for us to go. We went to orientation and filled out paperwork.   "We will call you," is what we were told.   FYI – paperwork is a simple way of say ‘hundreds of pages of personal information, family history, medical history and photos of your home – inside and out.’

Several months later, I was talking to a friend at church. She had adopted several of her children (a family group) from dePelchin.  She just loved everything about this agency and how quickly she got her kids. So, I called. We went to the orientation just 2 miles from us- and filed out the huge packet of questions they asked.

I spoke with our case worker on May 14. I chattered with her for over an hour.  She asked me a lot of questions about home schooling my bio kids,  all of our moves,  hubby's job. ....  She was not polite and was very rude about our ‘lifestyle’ choices (home school and multiple moves).

Then we proceeded to attend all of their classes.  8 classes. How to administer medication, when to change a child's ssn, incident reports, areas of human development, psychotropic meds, the 5 rights, document document document, how to lock meds, non drug intervention, cpr/first aid, connecting with pride, teamwork towards permanency, attachment, loss and grief, discipline, side and shaken baby, sexual abuse awareness and planning for change.

Some of the videos, info, and photos were quite disturbing and nearly discouraged us. We finished the classes by the end of June. We did our back ground checks and waited. And waited. And waited. In December I got a call. Because we home school, we will not be a good fit for this agency.  Hmm. I won't tell you what I thought or said. Let's move on
After more praying hubby and I decided to try one last time. Several families at Co op (obviously home schooled) had adopted or fostered with arrow.

In February 2013 I downloaded the hundred page application, filled it out and mailed it in.  I emailed a case worked and got the ball rolling quickly.  I didn’t want hubby any more discouraged.  God said ‘keep going.’   In March we started taking classes. In June we finished our classes. Hubby and I got our background check done – again ($40 each time!)  In May we got the fire inspection done.
November brought new rules. My 15 year old son needed an FBI background check. After 3 trips to the fingerprint place, that was done.

January brought the home study.

Now in February we are just waiting to be legally licensed.  Our case worker told us we would be licensed on Monday.  2 more days.  God said to do it.  He said ‘be patient’  ‘keep going’  ‘persevere.’  In 2 days we should hear something. 

I never expected this to take so long.  I hear that the hard part is just about to being.  The last 2 years has been trying, irritating, discouraging.  Not just to myself and hubby, but also to my biological children.  They are excited about having more siblings. 

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