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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Adventures in Adoption - Placement week 2

If you haven't noticed, my posts are delayed several days, sometimes several weeks from the time something happens, to when it is actually posted.  By the time you read this, several days will have passed and everything will be under control again......  If we make it through this week, we can make it through anything!

Sunday - Father's Day.  I wanted to keep today simple.  I wasn't sure how the kids would act.  Would they want to celebrate for this new dad, or would they miss their bio dad?  After church we needed naps.  Little T was not being a nice friend in Sunday School.  These kids sleep so well.  After a three hour nap the kids wanted to make something for Daddy.  We don't buy gifts very often, but the kids love to make cards and pictures.  So, we spent some time pulling out the art supplies and being creative.  Dad had to work late, so we didn't even go anywhere special :(  Originally we had planned on keeping the 'special' part of the day low-key, but going to Itz to keep it special still.  Dad loves that place!  Oh well.  We made him a yummy dinner and watched a movie

Monday - Friday  Sports Camp!

Today started out well, but by nap time it went down hill - fast.  Our 10 yo boxer started having seizures.  I wasn't sure at first if that is what I was seeing, but I told Big Girl and Baby Girl to get out of the room quickly.  I didn't allow them to come back in until it was over.  This is Baby Girl's dog.  I knew it would be difficult for her to see.  He had about 6 more seizures before nap time was over.  We ended up being secluded in our master bath so that none of the kids could see him.  I felt so bad for the poor baby, but I have to look out for the 2-legged babies as well.

In the classes we took, we were told to keep the kids active and involved in everything we do.  Well, what kid doesn't like to be outside, with friends, and playing?!  I signed up Little T for soccer and Little M for volleyball.  They had a blast!  Little T had a little accident within 5 minutes of getting there.  Another little boy was hanging on the soccer goal (portable, child size and made of pvc) and caused it to fall.  Of course my Little T was in the wrong spot and got hit on the head.  A few tears and a lot of anger later, he was back in the game.  He only played a few minutes before loosing interest.  I can't really blame him.  30 kids and 12 balls with only 4 coaches = a lot of standing and doing nothing.  Little T wasn't the only one in la-la land.  He spent more time in my lap hugging me than kicking the ball.

Tuesday - Not a good start to the day.  Poor Sox was up all night with seizures.  I didn't sleep well.  Hubby went in late and we took him to the vet.  I didn't tell Little M or T he wasn't coming home.  The big girls took it harder than expected.  After we left the vet, it was time for lunch and quiet time.  We all needed it.  Just after lunch my phone rings.  I used to not answer unknown calls, but with all the caseworkers, lawyers, and other people calling, I have learned to just answer.  

There are people you never want to hear from.  Your child's school nurse, the camp counselor (or nurse), the police, basically anyone who has bad news about your child.  My son is in Africa.  I don't want to hear from anyone about how they are doing because "no news is good news."  I just want to see the facebook updates and see the happy photos of him kissing giraffes and teaching children to play ukulele.  

Within 30 minutes of coming home from putting the dog down, the missions pastor calls me.  I didn't want to hear from him.  My son is in the hospital.  8731 miles away.  He had a massive asthma attack.  I won't go into the details, but it did send me over the edge.  I called hubby, who had gone back to work, and let him know.  Then I quickly sent out a prayer request to my 30 closest friends, whom I knew would stop and pray.  then I lost it.  Loosing my dog was hard.  Now add this on top.  Never mind the emotional roller coaster we have been on the last few weeks, and the exhaustion from last week and yesterday. I broke down.  When I had finished I showered and got into bed.  After praying I felt much better.  I know Big Boy is in good hands.  God is in control.

Later on, I got an update.  Not as good as I was hoping, but I got a lot more details and got to hear Big Boys voice.

Little M has had to have several talks already about lying.  Hubby and I 

Wednesday - lots of school work today.  Little T needs to work on letter recognition and Little M needs to work on reading.  We spent about 3 hours 'getting smart.'  After Big Girls flute lesson we had a 2 hour nap before going to sports camp.  

I have noticed so far this week that when Little T is tired, he gets extra disobedient, rude (mean words), and physical.  Not physical to cause harm, but definitely overly rough.  

Thursday -  The morning went well.  We worked on school work.  I am seeing a lot of gaps in both children s education.  We went to the library this afternoon to sign up for the summer reading programs.  Maybe that will help Little M with her reading.  Little T can't even recognize most of his letters.  Kinder is going to be difficult in a few months.

Due to misbehavior, neither Little T or Little M got to play sports tonight.  So, we sat and watched.  In the 2 hours we sat, I mentioned "Wouldn't that be fun?"  and "Well, when we make good choices we get to do fun things."  I think the point was made.

I got an update on Big Boy. He is doing better.  Lots of rest.  I'm sure he is bored out of his mind and desiring his Kindle in a horrible way.  He only took a few old books to read.  Everything he took was 'disposable.'

Friday -  We slept in today.  Really late. Till 8!  I never sleep that long.  Apparently after a week like this week, we needed it.  Little T slept until 9.  After a little school was done we went to the pool.  We didn't get to stay long because a storm cloud rolled over and the lifeguards heard thunder.  Oh well, it was nap time by then.  

After a 90 min nap we needed to get Big Girl to the foot dr.  She is having issues with it turning purple/red.  It's been nearly 4 months since she broke it.  I'm getting concerned.  The dr is sending us to a neurologist and a pain specialist.  He believes she has RSD.  Oy.  On the way home I had to pull over two times to put Little T in time out.  I have never done this before.  I just pulled into a parking lot, got him out of the truck, and had him stick his nose on his 'special spot.'  (a magnet that he places his hand on while waiting for me).  Obviously a 90 min nap is not enough.  I'm really worried about sending him to Kinder.  They don't take naps.  If they do, it's not three hours.  Maybe we are just wearing him out.  I will have to keep an eye on him this summer.

Sports camp went well tonight.  All the kids got to play.  Little T used nice words and nice touches.  I reminded him every time he ran over to me.  He still wasn't interested in playing with the group.  It's not that he didn't want to play, he played and played when it was just him and me, or him and the coach.  He just didn't want to play in a large group.  Kind of unusual for a 5 year old, but he is over stimulated easily.

After sports camp I took Big Girl to a friends house.  I thought for sure that Little T would pass out in the truck.  Nope.  Not a chance.  When we got the the friends he played and played and played some more.  The friend has a large yard with ropes to climb, a dog to chase you, a tree house, and lots of bugs to discover.  We only stayed about 30 min, but none of the kids stood still for a minute.  Surely he will fall asleep on the way home. Nope.  The girls did, but not Little T.  That means a really late bedtime tonight. It was almost 11 before he got to bed and fell asleep.  We will see what Saturday holds.

Saturday - Today was a much better day.  Very relaxed.  We hung around the house, did some gardening, and a lot of cleaning.  One day I may understand why a room must become more messy before it can become clean.....  Anyhow, the boys rooms is getting clean and organized for when Big Boy gets back in a few days.  After quiet time we went to the library and the park.  Our neighborhood has a 'dive-in movie night' every few weeks.  It's on a Saturday from 8-10/10:30.  I have never seen them show a movie I will allow my children to watch. Besides, that's way too late to be up on a Saturday night.  We just watched Zoom at home.

Sunday -  I miss banjo and Awana, but I do like being home early in the day.  We left church early because Baby Girl was feeling nauseous.  I really didn't want her to vomit all over big church.  We went home, had lunch, then right to quiet time.  The afternoon was filled with quiet.  Those babies sleep well.  About 4:00 we went to someones house to collect some used boy clothes for Little T.  What a blessing!  Not only did she give us a massive amount of shirts, socks, slacks, tennis shoes, sandals, and boots (he loves boots!), but also several costumes.  We stayed a while to pet chickens, collect eggs, and play with her boys.  Such a fun way to meet new friends.

Once we got home, it was time to put all that stuff away.  I could still smell the detergent, so I wasn't worried about washing all of it.  Just needed to figure out where to put it.  After dinner we read a few stories for the library summer reading program and went to bed.

I knew we would make it through the week, but I wasn't too sure how.  God is definitely with me and guiding my thoughts and actions.  I can see why some people give up, or send kids back.  When you have a crisis in your life, and you are trying to adjust to new people at home, it is difficult.  But these babies need love and security through everything.  They have only been with us 15 days, but they are MY children.  Just like the ones that came from my belly, God has loaned them to me to raise for a time.  I will do His will, and raise them the way He directs. 

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